Why am I having sex if I’d really rather not?

Why am I having sex if I’d really rather not?

Have you found yourself wondering this very same thing?  I know. I know.  I have sex with Jim because I know he wants it and needs it and it’s good for me, as his wife, to make myself available to him. I must admit, I’m always glad we had sex because we do feel closer and more connected.

That’s very honourable of me but, after thinking this through a bit more, I realized there are some serious flaws in this thinking.

    •    Have I relegated sex to another item on my “to do list”?
    •    Is having sex with Jim another calendar item to fit into my schedule?
    •    Or has it become one of the “plates” in my life that I frantically try to keep spinning?

If this is the case, then my motivation for having sex with my husband is all wrong!  

My main reason for initiating sex and making myself available even when I may feel busy or would prefer to just roll over and go to sleep is because I love Jim!  We are in love with one another.  We are lovers.  Lovers have sex together and want to please one another! Sex is that special expression of love that we share with no one but each other.  When I choose to have sex with Jim, I am, in fact, giving him a beautiful gift motivated by my love for him.

I need to remind myself about what the true, pure motive is for me having sex with Jim.  It’s not an item that I check off my “to do” list.  It’s not only because “Jim likes it and wants it.” It’s not just my “wifely duty”.  I love my husband and that is what motivates me to not only choose, but to want to have sex with him!