marital advice

Marital Advice – Don’t Keep Secrets!

We have it again from Hollywood: marital advice to all couples—don’t keep secrets!

Yes, the news is just out (April 2010): Sandra Bullock has filed for divorce from Jesse James. His secret infidelities have destroyed something truly beautiful. The moral of this story is that our secrets destroy us.

marital adviceHopefully, you won’t experience the same degree of drama that celebrity couples (Sandra and Jesse, for example) seem to experience: multiple infidelities, affairs and romantic trysts that seem commonplace. These huge emotional explosions began with a small s
ecret.

Celebrities or not, research indicates that all divorced couples cite the following as the most common problems leading to the dissolution of marriages:

  • Sexual problems (often infidelity)
  • Communication Breakdown
  • Money issues

Any marital advice, however, that focuses on these issues—in isolation—is missing a critical point: the need for honesty and openness! No Secrets!

Almost everyone keeps something from their spouse. These little secrets (a temptation, a troubling thought, a secret sin, a devastating event from childhood, a conversation in the past, etc) are a breeding ground for trouble. Whatever we deliberately keep hidden is under the influence of the devil and his destructive forces.

  • Are you looking for a breakthrough in your relationship?
  • Do you want to jump from a satisfaction of 4 up to 10 on the intimacy scale?

The best marriage counsel anyone could give you is this: ask God for grace to humble yourself and begin discussing with your spouse how you can get rid of secrets in your relationship. The conversation can begin with discussing the following questions together:

  • How can we develop safety in our marriage, so we can be honest and transparent with one another?
  • Is it possible to have a marriage with no secrets?
  • How do we fight the thought: “If you really knew everything about me you wouldn’t love me”? This fear prevents people from uncovering secrets.

These conversations may well be difficult, but the first small step out of a life of destructive secrets will lead you into an intimacy that, up to this point, you could only just imagine.

A simple piece of marital advice? Don’t keep secrets from your spouse!