Sexual Intimacy During Extended Illness

How do a husband and wife keep their sexual relationship healthy during times of serious illness especially when the recovery takes time?  Here are two keys Jim and I have learned are very important!

1.  Regular Communication. Jim and I must be willing to talk about the impact my brain aneurysm is having on our sexual relationship. No doubt, both of us have thoughts about the changes to our sexual relationship, but it’s so important that we share those thoughts and feelings with one another. It would be totally detrimental to our relationship to avoid talking about our sexual intimacy and allow the topic to become the “white elephant in the room”.

It can be difficult sharing our feelings of disappointment, frustration, loneliness, rejection, and more with our spouse. But we owe it to one another to speak openly and honestly (with kindness!). Without open sharing, we run the risk of allowing misunderstandings to come between us.

Initiate conversations with your spouse on the subject of your sexual relationship regularly. Ask your spouse how he/she is feeling. Brainstorm together on ways to work through the challenges.


 2. Pray together. The challenges facing a husband and wife during times of serious illness are too difficult to assume that the couple can overcome them on their own. Invite God into the situation!

  • Thank God for the healing while asking for a complete recovery
  • Ask God to help draw the two of you closer despite the “hindrances” brought on by the medical condition

This is part 2 of a series of articles on sex and illness.

Read part 1 here.

Read part 3 here.