09 Nov Are We Compatible?
Every new couple must honestly ask the question, “Are we compatible?” Of the many fundamental factors influencing compatibility, values, perspectives, and life goals are among the most important.
Since relationship break-up will often be a result of compatibility issues, all pre-marriage counseling should examine the core values couples hold, and examine these fundamental factors.
- finding perspectives on life that do not clash
- discovering common values and interests, and
- creating shared expectations and life goals.
When couples hold different values, standards, and ideals authentic compatibility becomes impossible. Couples holding opinions which are by-definition mutually exclusive, can never agree—unless one of them change. For example, if you and your partner have major differences in deeply held religious convictions, then compatibility reaches an impasse.
For romance to blossom in a relationship, compatibility is vital. It’s not that couples need agree on everything; but they have to feel safe to hold their own values and ideals without threat or conflict: this is how trust is built. With this trust in place, couples can be honest and open knowing they are accepted and valued.
Romance is designed to find its eventual fulfillment in marriage—the ultimate expression of commitment to your romance. The deepened commitment in marriage, accompanied with the sexual component of intimacy leads to compatibility at its best!
Believe me when I say this experience is absolutely awesome!
Couples who take time to invest in their relationship before marriage will undoubtedly reap the wonderful rewards of a healthy, vibrant, loving marriage! Find tools to help you determine how compatible you are with one another.
An absolutely excellent resource for couples can be found here: 99 Questions Before Saying “I Do”