long lasting marriage

Long Lasting Marriage is Possible

In our present western culture, a long lasting marriage is becoming increasingly elusive. With over twenty-five years of marriage, Carrie and I are convinced that a happy marriage of many years is more likely to occur between committed Christians. The building blocks of marriage success are the very values and perspectives that true Christianity is supposed to produce!

In an article by Dr. Greg Swenson
 a study of 351 couples experiencing longevity in their marriages for more than fifteen years is cited:

“Respondents were asked to choose reasons for their long lasting marriage. Cumulatively, the top seven reasons were ranked in the following order:

    1. My spouse is my best friend.
    2. I like my spouse as a person.
    3. Marriage is a long-term commitment.
    4. Marriage is sacred.
    5. We agree on aims and goals.
    6. My spouse has grown more interesting.
    7. I want the relationship to succeed.

“Besides the rather amazing fact that husbands and wives cumulatively agreed on the rank order of the first seven reasons, I find it interesting that three of the seven reasons are directly related to the idea of commitment. Three others, including the first two, focus on the value of the other person as an individual.”

Not surprisingly, commitment and valuing your spouse over self are also some of the raw materials of intimacy (See our definition of intimacy.)

No one said a long lasting marriage was easy—it’s not, it’s hard work. However, when people are willing to make changes in attitude and action, the result can be amazing!

  • Deal with selfishness: let’s be honest, we all have it. When you see it in yourself—kill it!
  • Build your life on core values. What is critically important to the way you live your life? Marriage only works when you are partnered with someone with the same values.
  • Practice communication, the pathway to intimacy.
  • Read and apply all of the articles on this site!