07 Sep 5 Ways to Escape the Marriage Slump
Over the past week, Sarah and I (for a host of reasons) have been feeling under the weather – and not just in a physical sense. We stopped doing the little things. We’ve stopped motivating ourselves to chase down our dreams. We’ve let our relationship slide into a slump. We’ve allowed ourselves to be short with our kids. We’ve let our sex life lose its luster. It’s begun to take its toll; we’ve been grumpy. Rude. Short. Snappy. Our house is a mess. Nothing is fun.
This week, we held a family conference. It wasn’t super long or elaborate or anything. Sar and I confronted the situation and decided to change things. In order to pull ourselves out of this slump we’ve been in, we’re going back to the basics. We’re re-starting the little things that created the success we’ve drifted from. Here’s our game plan:
- Protect date nights. By putting a fence around our Thursday nights, we demonstrate to one another the priority we place on one another. Even if we’ve had a crap day – we get the kids to bed early, and (worst case scenario) have a stay-date. Wine, popcorn, a movie – things we love to connect over.
- Have lots of sex. Even when we don’t feel like it, we’ve decided to make sure we’re regularly connecting sexually. Nothing draws us as close to one another as lovemaking.
- Treat each other really well. This can be tough when we don’t ‘feel like it’ – but sometimes we need to direct ourselves. When we were first married, this was easy. It flowed naturally. Today, there are times when we need to force it. And force it we do.
- Show love in small ways. I’ll make breakfast for Sarah. She’ll buy me a small gift. We’ll touch each other non-sexually often throughout the day. We’ll massage one another’s shoulders for a few minutes every once in a while.
- Regularly clean the house. It’s amazing how much cleaning the kitchen together can do. It’s amazing how much emptying the overflowing trash can do. It’s amazing what cleaning out the sink can do. It might seem like an odd place to connect, but we’re re-discovering how great it can be.